


Beta reader needed

by Toby7



Category: Pitch Black (2000), Riddick (2013), The Chronicles of Riddick (2004), The Chronicles of Riddick Series
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Elf, Ancient Egypt, M/M, Magic, Mpreg, Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-24
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-15 22:08:00
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 949
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28945653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Toby7/pseuds/Toby7
Summary: looking for a beta for my M/M story. The tags are all the "extras" that are in my story outside of what's normally found in this series. Message me if you're interested
Relationships: Riddick/OMC
Comments: 4
Kudos: 1





	Beta reader needed

Hey there, I'm looking for 1 or more beta readers to help with my Pitch Black story. It's finished but I'm in the process of my 2nd read through right now to find errors and plot holes. I'm editing this on my phone and tablet so sometimes my auto correct changes words like "the" to "he", so I need help making sure I've found all of those types of instances. 

I can send you the first chapter and you can either give me a critique or tell me that you're not interested in reading the rest. First things first, because this may be a deal breaker for you. This story is a MPREG. It's not too descriptive, but I know some people avoid those types of stores altogether. The actual birth doesn't go into graphic detail, but there is a conversation between some of the characters about the OMC being able to give birth, but I meant for the explanation to be humorus and again, it's not anything graphic. 

Riddick will not be the one having the baby. I suppose this story could be described as having alpha/omega dynamics for the pairings, because at the moment, I don't plan on having Riddick "bottom" for his lover at any point and he is definitely the alpha in the relationship. That being said, my OMC is no pushover either. I guess maybe this could be alpha/beta dynamics with omega tendencies? I dunno. My OMC is a badass that happens to be able to have babies. 

Also, there is a brief mention of the OMC being able to breastfeed, but again, it doesn't go into grand detail at any point and is a "blink and you'll miss it statement". At the moment, it's only talked about in one sentence after the birth, which takes place at the very end of the epilogue. 

This story is something I posted years ago, but recently decided to revamp the whole thing (as well as my other works, but one thing at a time, right?) and I've added a lot more detail to it. So far the story sits at about 50K, but as I'm going through it, I've been adding to or removing different sections when necessary. It's written in a mix of 1st and 3rd person POV but I've been changing a lot of the 1st to 3rd. Some things are just better in 1st person though, so I don't plan on changing the whole thing to to other POV. 

I plan for this to be a series following each of the movies (and maybe a side story or two), so this one starts out in the time frame of the first Pitch Black movie. The main paring is Riddick and OMC Elijah - who is part elf and part cat. I'm trying to stay away from the overused LOTR and Japanese neko for Elijah's background as I did in my original posting of this story. However, I may end up borrowing some things from LOTR at some point down the road because that genre just has so much information about elves. 

For the cat side, I went to a whole different country for that. Changed neko to a race I created but it has an ancient Egyptian theme, so if you are knowledgeable about ancient Egypt, that would definitely be a plus. Otherwise, Google is my go to for that.

Type of help I'm specifically looking for:

* Descriptive details of rooms, places or buildings 

* Describing the way a certain character looks without going overboard. For example, in my first rewrite I fet the description of my OMC just had too much detail all in one place. By the time I got to the end of his description I felt the reader may have forgotten what situation the characters were in at the moment. I went back and removed some of it and placed it in different parts of the story to help spread it out, but maybe I didn't remove enough. My OMC also has magical tattoos and sometimes I need help describing what I see in my head or from a picture I found on Google

* Finding and fixing plot holes

* Help with "filler". My story origanlly had a lot more dialogue than it did anything else, so I've been working on adding "background" stuff 

* On the other hand, I need to make sure I don't have too much "filler" in between the dialog. I don't want the reader to forget what one character asked or said by the time they reach the point where another character responded. 

* Making sure the current POV makes sense for the character. And by that I mean, the reader should always know who the focus of each section in the story is. It should be very clear on which character is having which thought or who is saying what even if I don't include their name in the sentence.

* Need help writing the sexy times. Since this was originally written in the guidelines for FFN, there's no actual description of them having sex. I do plan on posting this story to AO3 and would like to have alternate scenes for that version. I'm going to try and write them after I've finished the revamp, but help would make it easier if I had help since I've never gone into detail before.

* Help fleshing out fight or suspenceful scenes. I pretty much have this story covered, but I may need help in the sequels.

I think that's just about everything, but even if I can't get anyone for the things I listed above, just someone to bounce ideas off of would be great.

Thanks in advance!


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